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September 24, 2004
Who pays in the end?
I was chatting with a friend yesterday about realationships and money. We decided that money can pretty much make a break or relationship because in this case, it's reaching it's breaking point. I've been in relationships where it seemed like I've always paid for everything. Vacations, eating out, the bar, forgotten bills, friends birthday gifts, dinner parties, I could go on and on. But the one time where the other half is asked to pay for something, it comes back a short time later with a "Well I paid last last time, so you're gonna pay this time right?" Eww. What about what I pay for? Does that not matter? Ugh... Been there, done that and moved on.
My friend is going through the same thing right now. How much is too much? Has it come down to making a list of things bought and paid for by whom and when? What happend to the genuine and thoughtful, "Here honey, I'll get it this time" ? The other issue that came up was the amount of money that's made from the other half. Now my friend makes a nice living, but the other half?... yeah, not so much. My friend see's it as an obligation to pay for his other half's way because, well he has to. What the hell?!? Why should my friend have to pay for the other halfs life? that took me to the level of 10 on the grumpy scale (10 being the grumpiest).
The rest of the relationship is great other wise. It's so sad that money can make that kinda impact where love is concerned. It bothers me when I look back at all my falied relationships and see that in the end money did talk and someone did walk.
Now, I try to not make money an issue. I sometimes feel I have to over compensate for being the "rental boyfriend". Meaning Scott has more to pay for than I do. I do over do it sometimes but he's so bloody worth it.
My friend LOVES this guy, but with his life already filled with other money obligations, it's making it harder for him to do what he needs to do. I told my friend that he needs to have the money talk with his other half. I just hope no one walks because of it.
Posted by roque at September 24, 2004 07:06 AM